I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
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out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
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he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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