O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
