The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful