i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.