I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
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He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
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I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?