what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
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Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
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Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?