if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
