I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
After last night, I could never be a politician.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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