Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize