so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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