I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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