I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
