is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
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You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
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Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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