I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
