i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
