You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
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There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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