Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize