if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
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You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.