I bet he comes in French.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂