and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
