I only kidnapped one of them. chill
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating