dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
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