my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...