how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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