I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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