I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
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we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
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I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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