Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
