Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
