Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
