On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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