i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
