she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize