My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
vagina is talking i cant
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
