How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
