This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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