I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
