But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
