i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same