OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist