I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
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Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
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I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance