I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dating After Heartbreak
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"