Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
