naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....