someone owes me an orgasm
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
