I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize