last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere