if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
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have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
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I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper