Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis