You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
