doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Duck Duck Cougar?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There r osticjed everywhere
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
