I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?