I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER