she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism