so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
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she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
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My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner