Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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