I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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