grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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