no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
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She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
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the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice