do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.