if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night