He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.