I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Your penis caused this!
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