He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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