I queefed so loud it echoed.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize