is your mom at the bar?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
