I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
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It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
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Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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