White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
